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Showing posts from 2012

Puppy love

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I was a proud pet owner for approximately one day. . . from Sabbath school till after our Sabbath afternoon walk. They were wonderful moments filled with joy, bewilderment (on how to pay for him, who to have watch him over my holiday, how much longer he would live-he was an older pup), and excitement and wonder as to how I would convince my roommate it was a good idea. He had a GIANT radio collar on and a leather collar with two phone numbers and a full name on a metal plate.  So I knew chances were good he would be claimed. But still, I hoped. Obviously he was. But it made me think.  What do I want to name him if he was mine? I decided on Bob Dylan. Mainly because the first name on the collar was Dylan, really it only seemed fitting to name him Bob Dylan. Bob was in our family for a short while. But those short hours were filled with stinky dog and I loved them. Goodbye Jack, you looked more like a Jack anyway.

intentional

i want everything i do in the classroom to have a purpose. christmas decorations should point to God . Yet, ease and simplicity is important. i want everything i say to have a purpose. conversations i have should be uplifting . Yet, ease and simplicity is important. i want every relationship i have to have a purpose. giving and taking should be fluid . Yet, ease and simplicity is important.

Thank You List 2012

1.      To be in America 2.      Teaching 3.      Mountains 4.      Adventures 5.      Mom 6.      Dad 7.      Christopher 8.      Pa 9.      Snow 10. Oakhurst Church 11. Community 12. Love 13. My kindergarten and first grade students 14. Trees 15. Prayer 16. Relationship with God 17. Photographs 18. Friends 19. Road trips 20. Kimberly 21. Rachel 22. Andrea 23. European Friends 24. Memories 25. Warm Fires 26. Brit 27. Flowers 28. Colour 29. Bears 30. Amtrak 31. Sunshine 32. Honesty 33. Deep Conversations 34. Phone Calls 35. Mountain Air 36. Running 37. Wild Places 38. Old Friends 39. Cooking 40. Hosting People 41. Baking 42. Older Wiser Fiends 43. Authentic Burritos 44. Evelyn Muir 45. Passion 46. Freedom 47. Music 48. Scarves 49. The Tuesday night Bible study group 50. Summer Camp 51. Jamm’n Song Services 52. Old Home Videos

Walk with zest.

I think I am going to start going to each destination with as much zest as the students seem to. They run and slide into the space rug. They run and skip/hop over to the door. They slide into the cubbies. They scadadle to the bathroom. They go everywhere as if they were in a walking competition for speed, grace and points for style. It looks like fun, but don't tell them that because I always make them go back and walk.

Good evening.

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I've been busy, imagine that. Teaching kindergarten and first grade and second grade would keep anyone busy, let alone a first year teacher. My head has been busy figuring out how to teach small people. For example how do I teach first graders to add doubles and add one when they see this math problem 4+5=9. Sheesh, I think we took at least 4 days on just that concept alone. But man, when I was looking into their eyes as I was teaching the whole class about the Indians from the Yosemite area and how the white men kicked them out of their homes with guns, it broke my heart because it was breaking theirs. They know it was wrong. I love teaching them about our history and instilling a love in them for nature and culture. We learned about Moses crossing the Red Sea with the Israelites and how they had to help hold up his arms as he walked. I had the kids hold their arms up for a long time, then they had to help me hold mine up. Then at recess the kids wanted to play Moses and Pha

School is busy, church is busy and my mind is busy.

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My mind rumbles and tumbles with thoughts day after day after day after day. I've got good friends who help me sort through them via the phone or skype or gchat. Sometimes they aren't enough. Sometimes the only thing that is enough is God. There have been a lot of moments where I just go sit before God and ask for His help at sorting out my thoughts. I don't always walk away with an answer for today but since this last May when I decided to come back to America and had to trust God to provide work, life and peace I've gotten better at sorting out my thoughts with God. He's given me peace where I am now, a deeper peace than I've had in at least a year. He's given me a joy for my job that I haven't had since I was teaching before . . . up the mountain in Wawona and He's given me a tiny shimmer of joy for the long term where one day I will be in a team. Tonight, I will search Him out because my thoughts are busy and need to be sorted out again.

Percolating

I've got some thoughts brewing inside. I suppose I should form them into substantial thoughts and so I can then share them. However sometimes it is scary.

Mom.

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she'll be coming up the mountain when she comes Yehaw she'll be bringing my fall clothes when she comes Yehaw she'll be exploring the mountains when she comes Yehaw she'll be coming in two days. 

Baby Bunnies Alive!

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Aren't they so cute! Maybe not so much in this first picture  but by the time you get to the end you will agree :)  The bunnies on Sep 14. They were 3 days old.  September 15. 4 days old.  September 18. 1 week old. September 21. 10 days old and eyes open.  (just not in this picture)

I love space.

Space takes you so much closer to Heaven. It offers a new perspective of where we have come from, it is unknown and it is beauty. I don't necessarily want to fly to space on a rocket ship (I would get rocket sick and have to barf in my suit and that sounds awful). But I could stand to stare at the stars for hours and hours. If you want to make my night, invite me to stare at the stars. If you want to impress me learn about the stars and teach me. Check out these pictures from the year:  BBC Astronomy Photography Exhibit .

Still hungry.

I read this and I liked it. mal de coucou dictionaryofobscuresorrows : n.  a phenomenon in which you have an active social life but very few close friends—people who you can trust, who you can be yourself with, who can help flush out the weird psychological toxins that tend to accumulate over time—which is a form of acute social malnutrition in which even if you devour an entire buffet of chitchat, you’ll still feel pangs of hunger.

Death

King Brownie had baby bunnies this weekend and on Monday. Today I was trying to feed one with a bottle and kitten milk because I knew it wasn't nursing. It died in my hands. The hard part was I knew it was dying because it's not a new process to me, the gasping, the slowing down, the coldness and the last struggle for life. Nothing new to my heart or my eyes. I feel like a bit of me is dying right now. I really want these bunnies to live so the students can watch them grow and be amazed at God's goodness, but they are dying because I can't do anything else to help them along. I really want to run all the time but am dying because of so many meetings in the evening when I can run. I really want to be a good teacher but am dying trying to figure out how to put so many things together. I want to be financially good but am dying because each day that passes the interest on my loans adds up. I hate watching with that helpless feeling that there is nothing more

Thoughts

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So many thoughts tumble around in my head. I've had some bubble out and some sink in. These are just a few. Texting like it was water to a dying plant Pintrest has given me renewed inspiration and ideas for my classroom Learning to play the cello  Listening to my new favorite album The Goad Rodeo Session with Yo-Yo Ma, Chris Thile (from Nickel Creek fame) and a few other guys I don't know. Learning how to teach math, reading and phonics Preaching a sermon on faith like a child Painting art for my house/room Growing plants (I love green) Paying bills Friendship and what it means to be honest about thoughts and feelings Hunting in thrift stores for great finds to put in my house Dressing like a kindergarten teacher, think Mrs Frizzle :) Banging my head against a wall coming up with lesson plans :/ Feeding and watering our class pet: King Brownie the Fluffy Lion Lizard Hiking around up at Wawona Baking cookies Talking on the phone to make up for lost time last y

Music

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I was inspired to listen to some music from Tanzania.  I hadn't liked it while I was there,  it drove me nuts. But if you think about listening to it ALL THE TIME you too would go nuts. Now, however, when I push the play button on the youtube video and the funny notes hit my ears, I smile. The words are familiar and they bring with them memories. Memories of walking down the road to catch a Daladala into town. Memories of walking around the market looking for tengos  or a memory of falling asleep to Mary blasting these songs into the night. They remind me of Sabbath afternoons with my neighbors, Tanzania Adventist Secondary School, playing their afternoon sound track over the speakers at the church. Their personal gift to the neighborhood. Time has gone by, some memories have faded away There are others who are finding a place to stay The thoughts of laughter, giggles and smiles Brings it all back in a flash flood that covers miles The glimpses of disapointment, hurt a
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I love many things, mostly I love created things; trees, stars, people. I love holidays, mostly I love Earth Day, Forth of July, and Thanksgiving. I hate it when something happens to any of those things. I especially hate it when it happens to both of those lists at the same time. This year on Earth Day, April 22, a stupid sulfur truck spilled hundreds of pounds of that stuff on EARTH DAY burning up and ruining TREES! What a jerk. Now when I drive up to Camp Wawona I am constantly reminded and pained by the results of that man. It's a mistake that will take years to fix.  Here's a clip of the whole story.

SAT vocab

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Kindergartner 1: "What does dude mean?" Kindergartner 2: "It's a cross between a rock star and a ninja." Gift from one of my students on the first day of school.

Poetry

Last night at my first church board meeting I came up with some good poetry. I can't remember what they are called, but I thought these were my best. Enjoy. S eeking O ut N ature Y earning A ltitude F ollow A fter Y our E xcitement T alk U nder R eal K nowledge E ach Y ear S teep T ruth A llowing R omance S pace

When I grow up?

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I start school tomorrow. Not as a student but as the Kindergarden, First Grade and Second Grade teacher. Look out world, here we come! Oh and this doesn't mean I'm growing up :) A song by Frank Turner. Well I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold All the kids are talking slang I won't pretend to understand All my friends are getting married, mortgages and pension plans And it's obvious my angry adolescent days are done And I'm happy and I'm settled in the person I've become But that doesn't mean I'm settled up and sitting out the game Time may change a lot but some things may stay the same And I won't sit down And I won't shut up And most of all I will not grow up And I won't sit down And I won't shut up And most of all I yeah I won't grow up Oh maturity's a wrapped up package deal so it seems And ditching teenage fantasy means ditching

Doctors visit.

“Well doctor? He said with fear in his voice. Do you see it? It’s behind my shoulder on the right, just below my shoulder blade. “ “Yes I see it.” The doctor said with a slow confidant voice. Sighing deeply, “Oh, great. Than can you take it out? Can you get rid of it? Please?” He desperately asked. “This has been there a long time. It has grown quite a bit. How long have you known about it and not come in?”  He asked with a reprimand. “I know Doctor, I know. “ He said while not making eye contact. “I was afraid, what if it is malignant and I didn’t have much time left? What if in order to take it off you have to dig really deep and you take out part of me? What if it is permanent, forever, a part of who I am?” The questions tumbled out full of fear. “So you kept from mentioning it each time you came in? I fail to see how that helped?” The doctor said while making bold eye contact. A long pause, ended with a deep breath, “You’re right, you are always r

Phase 2

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I am on the move again. I know that I'm hard to get ahold of or that I'm always going somewhere new but this time I'm not. I'm going back to a place I've been before, a place that I have called home. I'm moving to Oakhurst, California. The town right outside the Southern entrance to Yosemite National Park. I am their new Kindergarden teacher. That's right, a bunch of little kids and I are going to learn together We are going to conquer the world of colors, numbers and letters. We will go where no other 5 and 6 year old have gone before! We will explore the outdoors, our imaginations and the world of knowledge. It is going to be grand. After I finish up here in Arizona I'm heading up and over, school starts in a little bit and I've got a classroom to prepare. God is good. "For I know the plans I have for you, "says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you hope and a future ." Jeremiah 29:1

How am I to know?

How do I choose which road to take? How am I to know? Who will help me, who will be there for me? God are you silent on this one or is it in my heart? Is it the harder path or the one that sounds like it would be safe? Safe isn't always bad, and God, I'm tired. I'm tired of not knowing, of having to choose and of going at this alone. I'm listening, I'm looking, just tell me where. Please. I'm scared.

Couch Rock

I went up to couch rock last night. It's one of the highest points on camp, I went to look at the stars and to remember my God and where He has brought me. I could look over the entire camp and hear voices of Spanish and English wafting up in droves from Spanish Campmeeting, I could hear their music still playing late into the night after their meeting. As I looked up into the night sky to find my place in this universe, I realized I was lost. I couldn't find my place, I could only find one of the Dippers. I didn't see the normal stars that guide me, that show me I'm home. It was really unsettling. I am used to looking up and knowing the place of everything, which direction to turn to see what and how far to the left or right to turn. But last night I felt confused, lost and out of place. It was actually quite scary and uncomfortable. As the sliver of moon set the night sky became brighter and the stars more radiant I was able to calm down and focus. Eventually I was a

Where I am now.

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When you ask yourself, "Where is Sonya these days?" Here is the answer you can give yourself, in the form of a song. Greetings from the land of buttes, cacti, dry heat and Camp Yavapines.

A letter to America

To the church family in America. This is a letter written by Junus Pulasdug Ndaro from the Tanzania Adventist Secondary School to the church family in America. "There are sounds of beautiful songs where Love dwells. In God brethern we are one though we are separated with the deepest ocean but the story of Jesus of a great love, He showed on the cross of salvation connects the North and South, East and West with Great Love of ages which makes bridges across the deepest ocean and beautiful songs are heard while crossing the bridge and we are all connected with a chorus. Oh tell me the story of Jesus Oh tell me."

Say What?

Words from the Small Steps for Compassion house. One day soon I think Happy will wake up and billow forth words from her tiny mouth. I'd like to think that I've helped her learn a few of those words.  She's getting quite a few words down and is remembering when she should say them too. We're proud! Happy and Tangawizi are best friends. She loves to talk to him, pet him, attempt to ride him like a horse, poke him and give him his plastic bottles and he of course lets her do it all and in return tries to steal her sticks.

For the Lord

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"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,    and in His word I put my hope." Psalms 130:5

2003 to 2012

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In 2003 my world changed. I went to Santa Barbara, Honduras and lived and worked with children. In those short months my world changed completely. I gained confidence in who God is creating me to be, how to communicate in Spanish and how to love deeply. Me and Nahum Me and Happy In 2011 my world changed. I went to Usa River, Tanzania and lived and worked with a community. In those short months my world changed completely. I gained confidence in who God is creating me to be, how to communicate with those around me and how to love deeply.

Changes

Here I am, May 23, 2012 and my life is changing drastically once again. In two weeks I will be traveling to America and not returning again to Tanzania. This was a hard choice to make but I have felt a strong peace that came along with it. In the last eight months I have learned a very large amount of things/facts/nuggets about myself. Some of them good and encouraging with others slightly shocking and humbling. In my time here I have seen God work in amazing ways; from giving me courage and wisdom to do new and hard things to working things out in His perfect timing for us to help Happy and our current volunteers. I have grown closer to the One who knows each intimate corner of my heart and I trust Him deeper than I ever did one year ago. I followed Him here and I know that He is now guiding someone else here to take my place as well as guiding me somewhere else back in America. And through it all He is teaching patience and trust. I will miss my special times with Happy. Readin

stars.

The stars are out tonight. It's the first time I have looked at them in a long time. It's been cloudy in my soul, a mirror image to the sky. I look at them, I mean really look deeply at them, They are more to me than some bright dot in the sky. They are a way to see past all that I am. God, who calls them by name, He must remember me too then. God, He calls me by name. The call stirs deeply in my heart, Something I can't explain The memory of another place, with other stars. To see the stars in their familiar shapes, In the patterns that mean so much to me They are a glimpse at the past and to the future.

Learning how to go.

I'm sitting here in the kids bathroom at the house. I've been in here for over an hour. No there isn't a tornado, earthquake, or end of times drill, I'm in here because we are potty training Happy. She normally goes number two around ten am. So today we are trying to sit on the toilet until she goes. However it's almost noon and she hasn't gone yet. She's really funny because she doesn't like to go to the bathroom on the toilet. She doesn't mind sitting there but once she has the urge to go she starts to cry and fidget. She'll try to stand up and she'll get angry. Then when she can no longer fight the urge, she pees. Once that's done she's no longer crying, angry or fidgety. It's funny to me that one can be so upset at feeling better. But then again I guess I'm not two and a half. Anyway since we've been here for so long I know she's got to go number two and the fact that she's fidgeting, crying and moving arou

Speak

We all learn to talk at one point in our lives. For most of us our first language is English and that's where we stop. For a few it's two at once. Happy is learning two at the same time, English and Kiswahili. Funny things is I'm learning right along side her. What really makes it funny is when I don't know what she's saying because she is still learning to put words and sounds together. So she might say something like appaju or acha or lala. A non Kiswahili speaker might say, "Oh listen to the cute little girl put words together!" but what they don't know is she is actually talking. For the longest time we thought she was just saying sounds and her favorite was appaju. Then the other day while some people were here at the house working on the water situation I heard a man say, " hapa juu ". Ahh! He's talking baby? Nope, she's talking Kiswahili. So I realized that all those times Happy was actually saying, "up here/there&

The Mirror.

She got up again and looked in the mirror. For a second time that day she saw a reflection that she did not recognize. How long had this been going on, for how long had the mirror been reflecting this strange image? She knew what face should be looking back at her and this was not it. What she saw was dark, weak and lost; surely it couldn’t be her own likeness. It must be a smudge or a shadow from the window; it must be anything other than her actual reflection. Turning away from it she closed her eyes trying to make the image that seemed to be burned into her memory disappear, hoping that the next time she looked the mirror would show more promise, more hope. That the next time she would see what her Maker saw, what her Maker intended to be in her reflection. Walking out of the room she heaved a deep sigh, wondering what was wrong with her. 

Old Pine

I love it when you find something that speaks the words that you wish you could.

Prayer, faith and trust.

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"When we do not receive the very things we ask for, at the time we ask, we are still to believe that the Lord hears and that He will answer our prayers" Steps to Christ, 96 "God is to wise to err, and to good to withhold any good thing from them that walk uprightly. Then do not fear to trust Him, even though you do not see the immediate answer to your prayers " Steps to Christ, 96

Sit, Lala, Stay.

My dog is Tangawizi. He's smart. He speaks Swahili, then again, who doesn't?

Train

I'm getting on a train. It's taking me away from the mountains. Emily and I will visit for the second time in our lives, Lives that mirror each other with amazing similarities. The south of California is calling to me. Catalyst West is waiting for me. I'm moving on again. I'm almost to the home again. All aboard, we're leaving.

A call to my heart.

The wind whistles through the trees It calls to my heart, saying drink deep of this peace. I hear it say, "You might not know about tomorrow or next week You might remember yesterday and last year But right now just feel the cool air, the snow on your skin and the sounds of the birds in the mighty Sequia. Right now breathe deep of today, of what I have given you; Set down, set aside, and leave alone the burdens you have been carrying. Lay them at my feet, I will carry them, I will bear your burdens. Your heart has called to me and I have heard its cry. Stand among the trees, listen, take note and pay attention, that is my voice you hear, That is my call for you, a calling for you to come and rest. Your soul has cried and I have caught the tears. I will hold your right hand, as you walk the path, As you pass through this place, remember in whom you hope."

Running the Race

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Running 13.1 miles is a lot. Running up-hill for 6 of those miles is also a lot. My goal was to run the whole thing, to keep the movement of my feet going even if it was slower than my walking. I wanted to push my body to go. Mind over matter, my mind is the master my body is the slave. It was hard. The mile leading up to the top and turn around point was hard. I had already been passed by the other girls running with me and by the beautiful Kenyans who were championing out the race in record time and it was exhausting. I found myself slowing way down once I got to the bottom of the mountain; the last few miles were slow and hard. Towards the end, I found myself running with different people, pacing myself off of them. One lady who I was keeping in time with slowed down and I turned to her and said, “You can do it, let’s go, you’re my pacer”. And she did, we talked a little and she kept going. She ended up passing me and going beyond my pace. There where other people who I ran with,

Go the distance.

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How many miles would you walk?

My cup of water runneth over.

One week shy of six months I was given the gift of a flushing toilet, a crisp shower and a flowing sink. The water I have now isn’t the final product. The company we are working with still hasn’t finished their job but because they know we have lots of people here, including a foster child (more on her later), they temporarily dragged some pipes on the ground to fill my tank in the attic J I can flush my toilet without hauling water in from the hand dug well outside the house. I can shower off while standing up and without pretending I am bathing in a river because the water is brown-ish and has grass floating in it. I can wash my face at night without imagining I am on the Oregon Trail using the last of our water before we cross the Rocky Mountains. I can rest easy because I won’t hit rock bottom (literal rock bottom) and run out of water if I wash my clothes, do the dishes, take a shower and flush the toilet three times all in the same day. Here a

The winds of change

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Happy and I made a funfetti cake. Change is sure in the air. Kids, volunteers, staff, rain, chickens and water. As much as chaos seems to be around, God is still here. I've been learning to wait. Not the kind of waiting I seemed to do a lot of in the past; where I sit and wait for a door to open. But the kind where I take a deep breath, relax and trust God in the daily life. In the last 5, almost 6 months I have had ideas, thoughts that I knew would happen only I didn't know how they would come about. Things that I could have botched up if I had taken them and tried to work them out on my own. But I learned to wait, to see what God's plans were in the whole big picture. I know this might not all make sense, it's only just now really come to shape in my mind too. Over the next few weeks I plan on processing it out for myself and of course in that time to breath deep and wait to see what my next step should be in the daily life. It's been amazing to be a part of this